Fletch Quote for the Weekend

Detective #2: Got a gun, creep?
Fletch: Shamu's got one, borrow his.
Detective #2: [searching Fletch] What have we here?
Fletch: That's my dick.

Fletch Quote of the Day

Fletch: Mr. Stanwyk's parents Marvin and Velma of Provo, were unable to attend the wedding. Those are
three names I enjoy; Marvin, Velma, and Provo.

Fletch Quote of the Day

[Fletch is driving in the car with the Teenager]
Fletch: I always use a little chewing gum on these rides. It filters out the pollutants.
Teenager: [Fletch swerves to avoid another car] Oh shit!
Fletch: Of course you've got some good grillwork there to keep out the ozone. I gotta get this thing up
to 95, uh, check out the fluorocarbon output.

Fletch Quote of the Day

Fletch: (singing)Strangers in the night, exchanging clothing, strangers in my pants...

Fletch Quote of the Day

[Fletch has just been incarcerated by the chief of police]
Fletch: Can't keep me here, chief.
Chief Karlin: Maybe I'm not going to keep you in here. Maybe I'm going to blow your brains out.
Fletch: Well, now, I'm no lawyer, but I do believe that's a violation of my rights.

Fletch Quote of the Day

Fletch: I saw Alan this morning and you know what I can't figure out?
Gail Stanwyck: Alan's in Utah.
Fletch: I... can't figure out what I was doing in Utah this morning.

Fletch Quote of the Day

Stanton Boyd: What kind of a name is Poon?
Fletch: Comanche Indian.

Absolutely had to save this one for Turkey Day.

Fletch Quote of the Day

Fat Sam: I got some reds.
Fletch: You don't mean communists, do you, Sam?

Fletch Quote of the Day

Fletch: I had to keep digging... without a shovel.

Fletch Quote of the Day

[after Fletch gets kicked in the crotch]
Gummy: Are you okay?
Fletch: Yeah. I feel like a hundred dollars.

Fletch Quote of the Day

Fletch: Well, the traffic was murder, you know. One of those manure spreaders jackknifed on the Santa Ana.
Godawful mess. You should see my shoes.

Fletch Quote of the Day

Pathologist: Ever seen a spleen that large?
Fletch: No, not since breakfast.

Fletch Quote of the Day

Fletch: For an extra grand, I'll let you take me out to dinner.

Fletch Quote of the Day

Alan Stanwyck: If you reject the proposition, you keep the thousand - and your mouth shut.
Fletch: Does this proposition entail my dressing up as Little Bo Peep?
Alan Stanwyck: It's nothing of a sexual nature, I assure you.
Fletch: Yeah, I assure you.
Alan Stanwyck: One thousand just to listen? I don't see how you can pass that up, Mr...?
Fletch: Nugent. Ted Nugent.

Fletch Quote of the Day

Fletch: If you shoot me, you're liable to lose a lot of those humanitarian awards.

Fletch Quote for the Weekend

Gail Stanwyk: I'm very flattered, but I'm also very married. You are trying to hit on me, aren't you?
Fletch: How did you guess? I'm such a heel. I don't know what came over me.
Gail Stanwyk: If I had a nickel for every one of Alan's flyboy buddies who tried to pick me up, I'd be a rich woman.
Fletch: You are a rich woman.
Gail Stanwyk: See what I mean?

Fletch Quote of the Day

Fletch: Frank, I need to go to Utah.
Frank Walker: Utah?
Fletch: Yeah, Utah. It's wedged in between Wyoming and Nevada. You've seen pictures of it, right?

Fletch Quote of the Day

Fletch: Why don't we go lay on the bed and I'll fill you in?

Fletch Quote of the Day

Gail Stanwyck: Are you always this forward?
Fletch: Only with wet, married women.

Fletch Quote of the Day

Gail Stanwyk: I really should change.
Fletch: No! I think you should stay the same wonderful person you are today.
Gail Stanwyk: I mean, put clothes on.