Ernie Dell: You see the thing is, fool that I am, I went out and hired a PI on my own. And guess what I found out, Denny?
Denny Crane: I'm not sure, Ernie, but you need to know I'm billing you for all these rhetorical questions.
[Dell pulls a pistol from his suit and points it at Denny]
Ernie Dell: My own lawyer. My friend. With my wife! Gee, Denny Crane is silent. Talking to me about my qwest for relevance, Denny. Tell me about my ego. Come up with one last profound thing to say. Before I pull this trigger! Come on, Denny, talk! I want to hear what the great Denny Crane has to say now!
[Denny stares at Ernie]
Denny Crane: First off, clients come in here wanting to shoot me all the time, and you know what I tell them? Go ahead. The worst thing about growing older, Ernie? You begin to slip. One day you wake up, and you're less than. And for me, I'm a legend, Ernie. I'm folklore in this town. Lawyers have feared me for years. For Denny Crane to slip, it would diminish my legacy, it would be a tragedy. Denny Crane has to go out big, page 1 of the Globe or the New York Times even. Do me a favor Ernie. Pull the trigger. Immortalize the legend, pull the trigger. I don't ever want to be less than, don't let me become irrelevant, pull it!
Ernie: [cocks the gun] Okay. Before I do, don't you at least want to apologize?
Denny: I do. I'm sorry, my friend. I'm truly sorry. Ernie, that gun. I bought it for you, remember? It's a starter pistol, Ernie.
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