Boston Police Officer: It's just as we regard it more as a domestic custody dispute. Her recourse would be with probate.
Alan: We'll there's where we're wrong, Denny. I thought if you were to physically and unlawfully grab somebody and haul them off to a foreign country, it would be a crime.
Denny: Well I'll be damned.
Alan: So we're wrong then. By the way, does one need to be related to the victim to escape charges? There's this junior mint I've had my eye on, and I thought I might borrow her for a long weekend, perhaps the Bahamas.
Other Officer: As we understand it, the father always brings the kids back.
Alan: That's what I'd do, it'd be a joyride.
Denny: We're wasting time here, you two look like good men, the department's full of good men, and that's why Denny Crane and this firm invest so much money in your annual ball. So you'll arrest the husband because A) Denny Crane want you to B)
Alan: I play poker with some reporters, one in particular who'd be curious as to why ethnic child snatchings don't get your attention and C)
Denny: The children were kidnapped! And D)
Alan: You're offically on notice.